This weekend I bought a new car, one identical to the one a friend bought three weeks ago. We were sharing our car-buying experiences and she, like I, had originally bought a used vehicle only to take it back a couple of days later.
Driving a car a mile or two on a test drive isn’t enough to reveal any hidden problems.
It is a little like experiencing working with a new boss or employee. At first blush, there is a mutual willingness to make the relationship work. As time elapses, the differences in perceptions and expectations emerge.
Now comes the choice:
- Do you ditch the person?
- Do you grin and bear it?
- Do you go out of your comfort zone to resolve the issues?
In order for the relationship to progress, something has to be said.
Being assertive with honesty, courage and integrity shouldn’t be hard. The truth is, that it sometimes facing the reality of the situation and then speaking up, can be scary at many levels of leadership.
Some things to consider when being assertive:
- If your approach creates a bigger conflict, willingness to collaborate will die.
- Avoiding the issue because it appears to be small can cause feelings to fester, blocking progress.
Neither is satisfactory.
- Think about your approach in relation to how you would like to be approached to initiate a conversation like this. If done with intentionality, courage and humility, even the most difficult conversation can be steered away from becoming a confrontation.
- Practice using positive language, avoiding “but”, “however” and “no” in your sentences.
Feel free to contact me for more discussion on this topic.